Last week I posted the photo of me in my bathing suit and said it was a gift. I realize that wasn’t really such a great present. Many of you looked at it and probably felt like I’d given you the internet equivalent of day-of-the-week underpants. Granny-style underpants.
So, I present the following:
Fifteen hundred chances to relive stirrup pants and giant bangs.
I know, I know. You’re so welcome.
“I take the subway regularly in NYC, and it obviously gets pretty crowded sometimes. But, if it’s crowded and I have a seat, I’ll give it up if someone else looks like they need it more than I do: elderly, has a cane/crutches, carrying a child, or of course, pregnant. My problem is, I don’t want to misjudge who’s pregnant. What do I do?”
As for my advice, I’m going to put myself in the shoes of She Who May Or May Not Be Preggers On A Subway Ride:
Scenario One:
Me, huffing and puffing from wedging myself between the subway doors: ack! wheeze! ack!
Anonymous CGB Question Asker: Hi, would you like my seat?
Me: ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?! (shoots daggers with my eyes at her)
Scenario Two:
Me, huffing and puffing from wedging myself between the subway doors: ack! wheeze! ack!
ACGBQA: (silent)
Me: (silently ticked that ACGBQA won’t give me her seat, and shoots daggers with my eyes at her)
Scenario Three:
Me, huffing and puffing from wedging myself between the subway doors: ack! wheeze! ack!
ACGBQA: Would you like my seat?
Me: Oh, thanks!
ACGBQA: So, when are you due??
Me: Uh.. I’m not pregnant.
ACGBQA: Oh, uh, oops.
Me: (shoots daggers with my eyes at her)
So, I’m just saying, I think no matter what you do, be prepared for the eye daggers.