Anonymous left this in the comments and the mother in me decided to bring it up front and center for some CGB discussion:
“Hey, Im only 13 and I have a hairy belly button. I still feel insecure and I was just told it was gross. Now I am severely self-concious about it. What would you guys say I do?”
So first of all, the word “omphaloskepsis” was one of my spelling words when I was in 7th grade English in Mrs. Balla’s class. I used dictionary.com to double check that it still meant the same thing it meant when I was 12 (you kids and your appropriation of perfectly good English words for new adjectives when words like “gnarly” and “radical” will do just fine). And yes, it does, in fact, mean the same thing. For now.
Anonymous, I feel your pain. When I was 13, one of my aunts told me I had weird toes. I didn’t go without socks and shoes for 15 years. I hated having anyone look at my bare feet. The idea that someone might THINK about my feet was painful. I even went through a phase where I double-socked my feet. (I think it had something to do with tucking my jeans—bright yellow Levis—into the tops of my socks.)
It wasn’t until I was nearly 30 years old that I realized that my feet were just fine. It may have been that I opened a People magazine and saw the nasty hooves* that some of Hollywood’s finest were passing off as feet. It may have been that I had finally gained so much weight from pregnancy, raw cookie dough and wheels of brie cheese that I could no longer even see my feet, let alone bend down to put on actual shoes and socks. Regardless of what finally clicked in my head, I no longer had a problem with my feet. Hairy toes? Got ‘em. Weird toenails? Yep. Feet that look like Fred Flintsone’s? (as in shaped like rectangles, not used for braking stone vehicles at high speeds) Yes, those too.
See for yourself:
The thing is, lots of people have hairy belly buttons. Even girls. Even women who haven’t seen their belly button since they were double-socking their feet (not that I know any of those). So really, you’re just fine. I promise. My guess is that whoever told you your belly button was gross has things going on with their bodies that they think is gross, too. At least belly button hair is easy to take care of. (tweezers, shaving, Nair, etc.) Some things, like picking on 13 yr olds with hairy belly buttons, take a Brigade.
Anyone else have any advice?
*10 points for whoever catches that reference without Googling.